What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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