Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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