Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Potassium? K.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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