Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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