a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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arena football

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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