Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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A scottish man having fun

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What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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have safe sex

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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