What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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