What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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