Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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knock knock piss off

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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Needless to say,

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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im gay

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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