Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Vote this up

thumb_up thumb_down -28

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fish swims up your penis...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops