Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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