How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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What do you call a tall Asian Tall

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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