How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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ert

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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i'm not gay

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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asparagus

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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