why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So this fat guy farts. It smells.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +193

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"...."-Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops