Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Wumbo

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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