Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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