Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops