Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Justin's hair

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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I killed someone today. :D

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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2 + 2 = 4

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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