Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Smeg...

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops