What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ur gay and this joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops