You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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