How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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V I T A M I N C !

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Women's rights.

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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