chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the ground wet It rained

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops