so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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The game.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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