What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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