Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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