Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

what do you call your mom? mom

What did the fish say? Moo

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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