Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

What is funny about family guy?the jokes

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

Hi

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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