two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

Cancer

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

I like turtoes.

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

Nathan Gooderson.

What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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