An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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lol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops