what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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son, you're adopted.

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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