My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

What does water taste like? Water

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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