A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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kennah campion... being nice

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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