Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

here's a joke... the american education society

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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