My Boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the defination of cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

thumb_up thumb_down

Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

don't read this

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops