Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm bored of this how about you?

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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