What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Muslim athletes.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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