Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops