A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Neither have I

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Poop

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Spinabifita

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Rick Perry.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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