Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops