A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The horse's name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +97

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -6

69 :)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Want to hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops