Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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