How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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