What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 took sexual advantage of 9.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops