a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The guy above me has a very nice joke

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops