roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

what did the catholic priest say to the boy?

god be with you.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

What do I hate? people

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

why did the girl fell off the hammock? because she didn't have arms and why didn't she got up? 'cause she had no legs and why didn't anyone helped her? 'cause she had no friends and why did she die? 'cause she fell into a puddle facing down

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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