Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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what color is blue? green

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops