Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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