What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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Jewwy Jewstein

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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