A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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