What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

thumb_up thumb_down +3

CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops