Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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