What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Women's rights.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Justin Bieber.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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