What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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Your mom.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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