SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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