Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Top Gear USA

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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