Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Connor is homo

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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