What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

what was the dying mans last words? im dying

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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