Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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