What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

what is white and sticky? glue.

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

Ryan Chang is funny.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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