Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

Knock, Knock Come in

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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