Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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I was once a hamster.

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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