I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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