Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops