How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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