Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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White men's rights

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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