an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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