What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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kushagra tyagi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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