An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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A seal walks into a club.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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