How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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lol

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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25

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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