What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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