Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

CHORGLUND

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -164

You were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -52

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops