So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

yes i can connor, this is brett.

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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