A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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