what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

what's black and can't swim?

What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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