Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Hey

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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your mother hates you

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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