Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Hillary Clinton

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Harry Styles

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Fart

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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