A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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identical jokes get different votes.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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