Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Fox News

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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