Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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