A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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Chikin nuggets

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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