just in time?

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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no

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops