What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Fruitcake

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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You're so straight!

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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