A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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