What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

thumb_up thumb_down -12

THIS IS an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops