What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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hi dave

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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live babies

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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The WNBA

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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