A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do you call a bird with wings? A bird

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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