Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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