Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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what color is blue? green

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Penis.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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