What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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Chrissy is funny.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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