Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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