Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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