What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call obama a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,027

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -61

why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops