What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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A dog was barking at a tree

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sure!

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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