Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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I hate blackniggers

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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My name is Jeff

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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