What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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