Obama

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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my names jim haha

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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i have cancer

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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SNAPPLE!

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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