What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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