Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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