What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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AROUND

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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