So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Canida

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops