Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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swag

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

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Steve is an average man. He has a good life, is married and has 2 kids. So why did he have his dog put down? Because it was hit by a car and had 21 broken bones and was in severe pain. Steve thought putting it down was the best thing to do.

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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