Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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kevin kim

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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