Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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69

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Womens Sports

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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