Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops