your mom

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops