What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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149

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25

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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