A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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