Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -55

UP

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man walks into a bar.......ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops