Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops