How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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