Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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