what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Whos breath stinks and mas in jail. Bomber Neville

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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