What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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A house comes around the corner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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