this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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derp

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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