when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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Breast cancer.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops