It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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