Lucas talks to mom she says hi

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An orphan falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops