A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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A kid has no friends.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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