Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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