A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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conrad profit

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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