What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops