blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Where else? The junk yard

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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