Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Mmmm, donuts

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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25

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Republicans

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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