Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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A man walks into a vagina

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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what is big and white? the moon

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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