Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Neither have I

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Poop

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Spinabifita

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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