If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

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woman's rights

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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what do you call your mom? mom

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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