Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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What is good about the holocaust? It is over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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