What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Lebron Traveled

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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The government makes a good decision

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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