A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops