What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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