Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

You will not press the like button.

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

Women

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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