What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Penis

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Jews

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. God does not answer.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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