On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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did you stub your toe?

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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they're dead. idiot.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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