You're Adopted.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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CHEEZECAKE

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Dumbledore dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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