Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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