A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

Carrot fingers

i have read and agree to the terms of service

Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

pudding

whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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