whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Cripples are lame.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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The Economy

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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