my shift key is broken1

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops