Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

What's older than history? Pre-history.

Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

Come in

What's 1+1? 4.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

How did the priest die? Masterbation

A seal walks into a club.

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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