Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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