your mama so old, shes dead.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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women's rights, lol

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Womens' rights.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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EVERYBODY GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LETS SEE IF WE CAN TAKE OVER THE MOST LIKED JOKE.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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