How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Your mother is a man.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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