Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Religion.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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