Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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I will create more jobs for americans

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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WNBA

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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