Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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