knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

Welcome to die!

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

antijoke is the best website.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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