Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Apple.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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the

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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