What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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dick dick dick... frogs

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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