What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Goat balls.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Jokes are funny.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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