Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

"Up to 50% off."

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...