Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Girls Basketball.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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