How do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys? Steve Nash.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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thumbs up!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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