A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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breasts

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Animal

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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