Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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A black man comes home from work.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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