Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Poop.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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