What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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lebron

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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