Irish sobriety

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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