What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -22

men's rights activists

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -29

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yolo your orange looks orange

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops