So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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