Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Welcome to die!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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antijoke is the best website.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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