A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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i'm hard

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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