how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops