What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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the WNBA.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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