Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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jokes r dumb

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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