Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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