What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

scraggle is in you pillow case

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

What's the new green? Green

Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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