Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what happens every day? People die

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

an dislexik nam rwote hits

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

1unno;njfjk

thumb_up thumb_down -133

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops