A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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