What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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K.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

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Nah

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops