Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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