a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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