Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck replies, "whiskey". The bartender gives the duck the drink and the duck sips it quietly, knowing he is ruining his life. Meanwhile, two cows in a pasture look for some grass to eat.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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mikey is cute

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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poo

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops