roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

Black...

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

Asians

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...