Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops