What's white and horny? A unicorn

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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chirs

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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