How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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BOTTOM!!!

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Who has downs this joke

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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