wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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