What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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WILLY

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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