s

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Winking at old people

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's up? A direction...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops