Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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