A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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hi mom

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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c-? men, C-men

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops