Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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I need a good anti joke....

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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