Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

thumb_up thumb_down -40

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Woman Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has two legs, and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,438

what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +44

roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops