Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Hummer.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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baby seal walks into a club

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops