what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Hair

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Mahmy

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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