"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops