Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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