what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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