What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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