Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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