Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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