Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you do when you're bored in Manhattan? You buy a minigun, enchant it to have limitless ammo, and then shoot it for one hour straight, killing innocent pedestrians in time square while laughing hysterically. Or maybe that's just me

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Justin Beiber

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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I came.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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