Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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