Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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