How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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Gays

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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