How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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