Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is white and long? A New York winter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -12

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

thumb_up thumb_down +34

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops