What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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