What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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1unno;njfjk

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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whats black. an african american person

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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My parents have an open marriage.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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