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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

yo momma so fat. that shes fat

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bar was closed due to the poor economy. Luckily there was an Applebee's across the street and they were able to save money with half-priced appetizers.

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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