What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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How come grilled cheese?

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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