Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Weaner

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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National security?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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