What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops