Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Dani barton= lovely

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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