What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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