2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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