A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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