I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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