Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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hi anti joke

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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