-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Your Mom

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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