The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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penis haha

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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