I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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knock knock come in

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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