What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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baby seal walks into a club

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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thermodynamics?

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops