How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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