what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

thumb_up thumb_down

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops