How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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im gey

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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My dad

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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