Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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