Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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