What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A midget walked under a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ron Paul for President!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops