What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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