What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

A girl's opinion is respected.

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

White men's rights

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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