I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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oh hiya come in

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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