So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's 9 + 10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops