What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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