What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Replacement Referees

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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