Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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