Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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