Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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T u r n i p s

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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The Oakland Raiders

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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