The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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