what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Nazi ran into a Bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +40

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops