What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops