Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops