Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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Miami Heat.

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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The WNBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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