So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops