An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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