If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Barack Obama

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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