What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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why do mexicans get made fun of

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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