What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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no u

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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poop is very very yummy.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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