Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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cancer

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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