What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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