knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Women's Rights

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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