Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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9/11/2001

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Womens rights.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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man boobs

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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