Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Animal

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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