What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Women can vote? wtf

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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What is brown and sticky?

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Woman's rights.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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A Fat Kenyan

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Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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