Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Hi Shelby!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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