A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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^that joke's not funny

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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The cream, it is coming

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Knock, Knock Who's There. You. You who. You are you. WTF!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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