What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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My friend harris is fat.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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A car walks into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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