A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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zx

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops