Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

How are you? Yes

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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