Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hitler is my role model

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops