Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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