roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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