Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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1+1= 69

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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