"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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whos gay? you are

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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