What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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there's a irishman, australian and and englishman man on a plane. they are going to france

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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