Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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96

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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