Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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