What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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