Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You suck big fat slobber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops