What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Shit.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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kathryn atkins

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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