"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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