Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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jcjdj

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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Men, get on the boat.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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anti jokes are really funny

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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Knock knock It's open

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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