Two guys walk into a bar to get out of the rain and have a drink after a long day of work. The first guy orders a bottle of imported beer sits down and begins to drink. After waiting his turn the second guy also orders a bottle of imported beer but because he is Polish he does it incorrectly and awkwardly

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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