Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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