What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Elizabeth Warren

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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your mom

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Sonic

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Leave her alone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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