What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

in the begining... god made some stuff

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

I share two rooms with my mother.

hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...