What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Women's Rights

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This is a joke.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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