how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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