What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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