what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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did you stub your toe?

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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