Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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