A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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Miscarriages.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Women's Rights

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops