What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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