A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -28

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops