How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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The Bible

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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