A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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