whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -16

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops