The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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A man did not like this site

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Arron Glass

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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