An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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the your face joke

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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