A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was Born ready I was born naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops