Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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c-? men, C-men

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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