Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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3 like an eel

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops