anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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