what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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guess what chicken butt

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What is brown and sticky? A masturbating Negro.

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I tell an anti joke!.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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Man 1: What's blue and goes blub blub? Man 2: I don't know what? Man 1: A blue blub blub. What's green and goes blub blub? Man 2: A green blub blub? Man 1: There's no such thing as a green blub blub you moron.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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I can count to potato.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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