A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Catholicism.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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