eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Women's Rights..

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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The Irish man was sober.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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