What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I am really good at math debating

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops