You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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