Bark I'm a tree

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Women's rights.

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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Jesus wept.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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