what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is cowboy say

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops