Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

snooki

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

Saggy Nipples By chan chan

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

Why are trees green? I have no idea

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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