What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Women's rights.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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