I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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25

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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