Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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want a balloon? yeah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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