A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops