A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Hey, Max!!

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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