Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

Set up Punch line.

Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

knock knock you may come in

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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