How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Wolfjob.

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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