Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

GONNA

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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