Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Time flies like a banana.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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