How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

Knock Knock No one answers....

why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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