People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

thumb_up thumb_down +168

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops