EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I bet you read this. Told ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops