Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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