If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +5

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did you step on my watermelon?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -10

there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops