Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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YO FACE

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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