Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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