A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -751

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops