what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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