Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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the holocaust

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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ekoj

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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