A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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5 people are walking

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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Woman.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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Where is my tractor?

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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