Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +33

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sixty... eight

thumb_up thumb_down

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Who invented apple? God

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops