What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Who wants water? I do.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Jordan is pregant

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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