How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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