How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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The government

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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I enjoy telling anticlimactic jokes Very much.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops