What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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civil rights

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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