what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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drugs.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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