What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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