Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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Carrot fingers

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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