Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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