A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -5

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -2

joe diragi whacks off his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops