A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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An antijoke

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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