What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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neil likes pube toast

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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I am a women

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women's rights

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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