What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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how do you make a plumber cry you kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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