rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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