What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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