I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock who's there? faith

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock, Ow my face

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A muslim walks into a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops