#Getweird

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops