What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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