Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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obama is a good president

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Penis

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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Grace Ackerson

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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