if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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fjdkhg

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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