Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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meh

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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