3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

Your mom walks into a bar.

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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