I have no soul so I must consume yours

Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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