How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Women drivers...

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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how much fish could a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops