0 + 0 = 0

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

My penis is big... not.

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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