Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Vagina-Boob

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -259

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops