There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Hi? No!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops