Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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women's rights

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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BOOBALANBOO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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