Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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