What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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