What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops