What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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