What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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