What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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who else is on here?

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Lewis

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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