How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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