OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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haha

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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A man walks into a bar, he is an alcohol and it's tearing his family apart

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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