Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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A seal walks into a club.

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Sea World Japan.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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