What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Corn Muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

xavier stop

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops