im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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