Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

Face...the other white meat!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

HURT

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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