What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Women.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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