How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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SAY

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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