Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Women can vote? wtf

thumb_up thumb_down -44

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is the ground wet It rained

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops