Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Cancer.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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