Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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