the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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