Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops