How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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