Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Deadly cancer.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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crap!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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