What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Women.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

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WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? 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WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? WHERE'S THE JOEK? 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since when?

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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mc hammers income.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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What did the clock say? The time.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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