My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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