Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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