Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

thumb_up thumb_down

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a black man did not eat chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops