Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

9

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

the WNBA

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...