Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

Patriarchy.

What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

Hi what I lug you

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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