Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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where are you?

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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