give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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sky silverstein

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Netflix and chill

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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