Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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