What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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karn chevalier

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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don't just stand there

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Dislike this

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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