What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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