How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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