A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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boys

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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