why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Atheism

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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hi bros hahahhah like it up, ah ma gkenny

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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