A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Soccer...

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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Jess Burns

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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A black guy walked into a convenience store. He then found what he wanted, and paid with his credit card.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops