Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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