FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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