What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

I have a really funny joke.

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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