Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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I'm hungry.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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