What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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