Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops