There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Cool Brian

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops