Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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Hi

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Bob Saget

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Barack Obama.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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