A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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Women's Rights

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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