Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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nine...eleven

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Whats Obama's last name?

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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