Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops