Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Duck A lays an egg which rolls into Duck B's nest. To whom does the egg technically belong to? Neither, ducks do not have the legal right of ownership.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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