Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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for keeps?

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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