TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops