Ham sandwich

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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