- Anti Joke

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

Libraries.

Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

Yo Mamma

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Sarah Palin

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

Hey what time is it. 3:15

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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