Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops