Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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Nuneaton..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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