Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops