Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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all hail based mark

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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The joke below me is retarded

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Why was the black person promptly escorted out of the bar? He was under 21.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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drake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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-knock knock! -doors open

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops