Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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