Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Yeah right loser!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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your going to die

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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