"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

Slavery lol

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

what do fish smoke? sea weed

What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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