How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Leave her alone...

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Sarah Palin is President

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops