A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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My parents died!

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Dick spice

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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K.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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