A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Hillary Clinton

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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