while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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