A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? Starve it to death then chop it in pieces.

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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