Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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