What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Women's Rights

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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