whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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whats long and black? a baton

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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Gabe Mercado

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops