How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Justin with a hat.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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A man buys free health care...

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops