Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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