What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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