What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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^that joke's not funny

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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I love pissing people off :P

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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