My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Scott

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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all these jokes suck ass

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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were at work systems r down

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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