Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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96

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops