ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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