Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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