so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Hi

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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