Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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