Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

A baby seal walked into a club.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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