What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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