In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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PerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerú

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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hey.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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69

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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