a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Grapefruit.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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I love pissing people off :P

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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