How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Alt F4

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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