Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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