How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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