What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops