A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops