Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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How old are you? 7

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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Land Rovers

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What is Jason? Black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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