Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Poop...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

thumb_up thumb_down -13

THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops