What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops