Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Knock knock What?

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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You're a frog

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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