How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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