If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Coldpaly is a good band

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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