What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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