Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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YOU

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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E= McVagina

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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