When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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