What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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god walks into a bar orders a beer and then remembers he's not real

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Where's my tractor?

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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