COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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mark lawson likes boys

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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