Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops