Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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