How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

world society

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +18

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops