Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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