Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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