What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

thumb_up thumb_down +42

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops