Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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