frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

Feminism

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...