I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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#scabbers

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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