Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops