A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Zach Barlow

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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