my penis

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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bacon

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knock,knock you suck

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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