knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops