What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops