Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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