Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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osama bin laden is dead

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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