What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Chlamydia

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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ecks! why zee?

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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