i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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i am predestal

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This isn't funny.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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minorities.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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no

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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