A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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I'm Coming

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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