What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Penis

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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