Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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