Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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