A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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WHAT????

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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