Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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