Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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