Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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women's rights

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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