Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

autsim

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

why did the puppy poop? he had too

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

whats your budget like? a budget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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