i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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The Joke Below

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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