What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the kitchen cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -47

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops