A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Black people

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Female Orgasms

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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