Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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Women.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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