Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Albert <3 Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My parents died!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops