Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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This is not an anti joke.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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