Why does the Anti-Joke site suck? Because it's not funny.

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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