What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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