what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do people say? words.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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