A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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