A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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Bing

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Women's rights.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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