yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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OOOOPPS /

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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