What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jersey Shore

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops