Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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I was once a hamster.

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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