i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Punching a baby

thumb_up thumb_down

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the man sad? His wife left

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops