someone jumped off a bridge he died

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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