Golf.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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