Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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butt sex

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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