what did hitler say before he turned on the gas who are you calling a dick dina

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

thumb_up thumb_down -13

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops