Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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