Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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A fish walks into a bar

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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