How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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800 people died last year. end of story

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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Please ignore this statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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