Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -293

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

69

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's black? a lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops