A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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