Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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800 people died last year. end of story

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops