When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man buys free health care...

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops