Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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