How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

hi. thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +7

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops