HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Tim and Eric

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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An englishman, Irishman and scottishman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Irishman and englishman both jump off the cliff. The scottishman says "oh,shit".

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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no rasist joks

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What happens when you light a truck full of babies on fire and drive it off a cliff filled with lava and set off explosives when they land? The babies die. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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